Testimonial of ADD Charm and Naturalist Temperment

CHAMELEON FROM ADD FORUMS WROTE THE FOLLOWING< REGARDING HER FAVORITIE ADD TRAIT:

everyone i know says i am extremely intelligent, and bursting with new ideas. i also get told that I am the funniest person people have ever met. I get told this often. Its weird, I do know that I am funny, but I find this embarassing, and i laugh, and then people say that i have the sweetest, most mischevious humility, cos i cant help winking or wincing while i giggle and then they say its like Charlie Chaplin. It probably is! To be very honest, I think everyone with ADHD is extremely charming and has a pure innocence about them, a breezy sparkly confidence, that no one else has. People love that, because its really natural (cos ADHD people are kind of like nutty professors), its very true.

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Theories in the Development of ADD/ADHD

LOVE IT! Great theory. I have had similar thoughts, regarding how we were “supposed” to be prior to the world as we know it today.

In addition, I have other theories, one being that the mind “develops” with ADD/ADHD as a result of our immediate family culture and the relationship ADDers shared with their parents/siblings. My father and mother adopted my brother and I seperately. I realized my add issues as a teen, though my brother was diagnosed with add and dislexia while in college. It is also very obvious my father has it.

From there, I personally look at my fathers parenting style and since he completely lacked patience (poor guy :–() with us it was not the most prefered parenting style one can ask for. I rebelled as a teenager and probably because of the resntment for his lack of compassion and constant yelling/screaming. I didn’t really respect him enough to do what I was told to do.

My father’s mother was the female version of him so I believe he dealt with the same thing I did when he was growing up. He was constantly “lost in space”, had poor grades and rebelled as a teenager.

I personally believe that we learn our behavior as a child and therefore, if we felt angry, resentful and unsupported as a child I beleive our brain as an adult can carry out that same patter. ONLY THIS TIME we are uncooperative with ourselves (our outer world is only a reflection of our inner world).

In other words, the brain’s of those with ADD don’t “work together” like non-adder’s do. This is where we find the “forgetfullness” and the inability to “sit still and study.. concentrate”.

I beleive that adders also have many benefits to having this special brain chemistry. Why? Because as humans, we were never meant to be “controlled” by another. We were designed to “go with the flow” and be easy and fun about life. “I believe” that the REST of the world is a bit off, as they “follow the rules” and conform easily to society, naturally. Those of us with the Add brain chemistry live in our own worlds and have enormous creative abilities, as a result of missing that “conforming” part of the brain or the part that feels constantly a bit afraid of stepping out of the norm or refusing to do what they are told. What is ADDer Albert Einstein had “done what everyone else did”?

I definately understand where all of you are coming from. you bring up a valid perspective.

I just wanted to offer some additional possibilities and perspectives.

Entrepreneurs are ADDers often. Might it be possible many of the tribe’s leaders, or those who actually got the tribe together were the ADDers? Just a thought.

What about the entertaining tribe members who kept smiles on everyone’s faces? Are these individuals not of great value to society, even without it being Jim Carey or Robin Willliams who are receiving large compensations for their contributions….

I’ve personally discovered, over the last 5 years of my life, that there are sooo many people out there who bring an enormous amount of happiness to those around them. Sometimes this behavior is unrecognized, though without it many individuals would be lacking something…. many of the individuals who are extremely productive, according to society, could not accomplish what they do without those loving/funny/quercky individuals around them or in their life.

MY POINT : “EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL” on this planet is pure love and contributes to society and more appropriately here, “life”. All persons will affect other peoples’ lives and cause life to continue and expand around them, thus contributing to the wonderful world we live in today.

A GLOBAL VIEW POINT: My opinion: EVERYTHING exists on Earth, as a result of one thing, “love”. IMHO I believe that the ADDers are special and often times “feel” to a greater extent (??could be yes or no, I’m sure). Therefore, we have the capacity to affect this world in a positive way, to a greater extent than we once believed. If we harness our strengths and put little thought into our shortcomings, Add’ers will actually succeed AND have a great time doing it!

This world was created at random by the complete creative source (GOD), I believe. From my spiritual understanding, God has not a mind like man, carrying around an ego, logic and the like. That source is that random/creative side it appears dominates us more than average. Isn’t it flattering to know our minds work more like God’s than those without add?

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NLP – Feeding the Strategy back to them

The following from : Easy NLP Strategies

Strategy Utilization: Now that you know how to elicit strategies, the next step is
utilization.
Once you’ve discovered what someone’s strategies are, the next thing to do is to
utilize or use that person’s strategies in feeding information back to them in a way
that it becomes irresistible to them. For example, you might want to utilize
someone’s strategy in the process of assisting them to be motivated in a certain
way, or causing them to want to do what you suggest, or in the process of selling
them something.
Once elicited, you can then use the strategy as a framework for the information
you want to feed to that person, and in using the strategy that way will present a
structure of information to the person so that the information becomes irresistible
to them or irresistible to their neurology, regardless of the content of that
information.
Feed the Strategy Back: It’s a very simple matter to feed the information back to
a person inside of their strategy, meaning you put the information contextually in
the form of the strategy that they just gave you. For example, if a person’s
strategy was visual, auditory digital, and kinesthetic, and if in the auditory digital
they were comparing criteria, you could say to them, “Have you seen our
proposal yet, so that you can see that it meets your criteria and feel good about
it?” They would feel good about what you said, and probably wouldn’t be aware
of why. More importantly, they would also feel good about your proposal!
Let’s say that you elicited a strategy that was visual external (submodalities-big
picture), auditory digital, kinesthetic (feels solid, grounded), and in the auditory
digital part they said, “Is this okay?”, and then when it was okay, the person
would say, “Yes, this is the one.” What you would say to this person is, “I think
you should take a good look at this so you can see how it will fit into the whole
picture. I’m sure you will find that it will answer all the questions we’ve been
asking ourselves, and you’ll really be able to say ‘yes’, this is the one”, and feel,
as I do, tha t this is the most solid grounded choice available.
The way you present information to someone makes a big difference if you
present it in the order and sequence that they process information (inside their
strategy), or if you put it in an order or sequence that is different (outside their
strategy).
Obviously, you will want to discover someone’s strategies and then fit your
communication into that order and sequence directly. We were recently teaching
someone how to do embedded commands. (And essentially, by doing embedded
commands inside of someone’s strategy, what you’re doing is making the
embedded commands even more irresistible then they already were.) As I was
showing her an example of using embedded commands and strategies, I used a
“standard” sequence visual – auditory digital – kinesthetic (which was not her
strategy). As we talked, she was having Then, I put it inside her strategy (which
was auditory digital – visual kinesthetic), and she immediately understood it at
that point.
The first time I said, “You will probably see in a moment that this makes sense to
you, and you can feel good about learning it.” No response. So, I pointed that out
to her, and said “Well, I think that you will probably discover this makes sense to
you as soon as you can see that it feels right.” And she went, “Oh, yeah, now I
understand.” The idea is, then, to feed back the information to them inside their
strategy.
The next step after mastering embedded commands inside strategies, is to
enclose the entire sentence with a beginning and ending temporal predicate. A
temporal predicate is a predicate or a word that deals with time. What are some
words that deal with time? Well, when, when are you going to, later, now, soon…
tonight.
We could say (assuming a visual construct / visual recall – auditory digital –
kinesthetic), “I’m wondering (hypnotic language pattern) how soon… ” (which is a
temporal predicate) “I’m wondering how soon you will have the opportunity to
look at our proposal and recall, seeing that it meets your criteria for feeling good
about it tonight, won’t you (hypnotic language pattern). And so that becomes a
very, very powerful form of embedded command.
The magic number is three presuppositions in a single sentence, which
immediately gets you beyond the conscious mind. He says when you get to the
magic number 3 in a given sentence, if you put three presuppositions inside the
sentence… actually the following sentence had 6.
Given the above strategy, here’s the sentence: I’m wondering how soon [1]
(assuming they haven’t even agreed to look at the proposal yet) you’ll have the
opportunity to look at our proposal [2], and recall seeing that it meets your criteria
[3], so you can feel good about it [4] tonight [5], won’t you [tag question-6]. Here’s
how it works:
So, what we have is a hypnotic language pattern followed by a temporal
predicate at the beginning, and at the end, that collapses all 3 of the embedded
commands together into one highly irresistible sentence. You can construct them
any way you want by putting temporal predicates at the beginning and the end
and putting the embedded commands in the middle.
How do you learn how to do that? You discover their strategy, then (if you need
to) write it out on a piece of paper as you construct the embedded commands.
Then put the hypnotic language and the temporal predicates at the beginning
and end and say it. You see, in the previous sentence there’s also a command to
feel good about the proposal tonight as opposed to some other night, which
presupposes again that they’re going to look at it tonight, whereas we began by
asking them how soon, we now have ended up by suggesting that its going to be
tonight.
Now, while you were in the process of eliciting someone’s strategies you may
also have set some anchors.
When we do training for retail salespeople, we suggest they use anchoring in
addition to strategy elicitation, and embedded commands. When somebody
walks in to talk to a salesman on the floor that we’re instructing how to sell, one
of the things that we suggest is that the salesperson ask the client, “Have you
ever purchased a computer (let’s say it’s a computer salesman), that really works
well and you felt really good about?” And when the client or the prospective
customer remembers that, they’re going to access that entire strategy of buying
that computer, aren’t they? They’re going through and access that state. When
the salesperson asked the customer if they’d ever had a computer that they felt
good about and really worked well for them, they’ll have to go back and access a
time if they did. If they did, it’s going to access a state of having a computer that
worked well for them, which you can anchor. Then you say, “How did you
purchase the computer?, which elicits the decision-making strategy.
You say to them, “Have you ever bought a computer you felt really good about?”
They’re either going to say yes or no. So if they say yes, or even if they say no,
anchor that state! Assuming they said yes, you’ve also got one or more anchors
placed with them at the time of eliciting the strategy. When you go to close, you
can do the close inside their strategy, and feed back the information to them in
exactly the same way as they process the information, you can also fire the
anchors. So, with a positive anchor set, assuming an auditory digital strategy,
you can say something like, “I’m sure as you look at our computer you’ll see that
it meets all your criteria for computers, and that you can decide that you want to
do it (firing the anchor), don’t you? That’s a visual auditory digital strategy. Okay?
And, if you get a negative response to the question, “Have you ever bought a
computer you felt really good about,” anchor it, too. You can always use it to
attach to an objection that they may have in the future.
Strategy Design: The next element in strategies, is strategy design. Now, you’d
want to design a new strategy for a person if the strategy they have is particularly
inefficient or did not process data well for them. For example, a client might have
a visual kinesthetic buying decision-making strategy. That is, they see it, want it,
buy it. “They want it” is a feeling. And they might be in a situation where, “Hey,
I’m buying too much.”
You can assist them by adding another point to that particular strategy. There are
some things you should know. When designing strategies there are some things
that are very important:
1. The person must have a well defined representation of the outcome. It
must be a well designed outcome. We need to know what kind of outcome
we want as a result of changing the strategy. And so, we go through the
Keys to an Outcome and the Meta Model and design a very well defined
representation of the outcome. Ask, “for what purpose…” why they want
the change.
2. Second, the strategy should use all three of the major representational
systems, that is, visual, auditory and kinesthetic.
3. The third thing is there should be no two-point loops. A two-point loop
becomes a synesthesia (like a V-K synesthesia). And a synesthesia loops
around too quickly, and is harder to get out of. If you’re in a synesthesia
where you’re going around in a circle, V-K, V-K, V-K, it’s really hard to
break out of that kind of loop. Whereas, if it’s a three-point loop, there’s
more time in between the going back and picking it up and going around
again, and if they have some auditory digital they can say, “… hey, it’s time
to get out of here.”
4. Which leads us to point number four, that is, after so many steps the
strategy should have an external check. What we don’t want to do is, what
I’ve seen so many times, people who have strategies, of course
unconsciously designed, where they literally go and they end up in this
auditory digital feedback loop where they’re just evaluating criteria,
gathering more information, they continue to get stuck in this Ad loop,
where they talk themselves right into and out of a decision. They go Visual
– Auditory Digital, should I make a decision? No …gather more information
… talk yourself out … they end up in a very tight digital loop where they’re
just not making a decision. So the point is to have a three point loop.
Now, there are three more points about the functionality of the strategy you’re
going to design. In the process of designing a strategy, there are three more
points that are really important:
First of all the strategy should have a test, and part of the test should be a
comparison of the present state, and the desired state. Remember we said at the
beginning of this chapter, that typically there’s a trigger or a test that feeds
information forward to the next test. The information that’s in the feed forward
part sets up certain criteria.
In the comparison, the strategy should have a test which is the comparison of the
present state to the desired state. That will give you either a minus (go back and
continue the strategy), or a plus (exit successfully).
The second element on the functionality of strategies is that the strategy should
have a feedback step, that is a representation resulting from the plus or minus,
that is a representation resulting from the plus or minus that is the congruence or
incongruence of the test comparison, so that a strategy when installed should
have a plus and a minus place where it goes back and loops back or where it
exits.
Finally the strategy should have an operation. This comes right out of the test
exit. The strategy should have an operation that is a chain of representational
and/or motor activities for the purpose of altering the present state in order to
bring it closer to the desired state, that is, it should have a series of steps, in
other words, an operation should have a series of steps or a chain of
representational systems or internal/external advance.
Just a couple of more observations about strategies, now. First of all the strategy
with the fewest steps is probably better than the strategy with the most steps. In
other words, if you designed a 23-point strategy for someone, and you’re going in
and install it, forget it. What’s a lot better is to give them as few steps as possible
to allow them to achieve their outcome. So based on what our criteria is, in terms
of structural well-formed strategies, the criteria would be somewhere between
three and having as few steps as possible.
Another point is that having a choice is better than having no choice. So you’re
going to install a strategy, make sure you’re giving the person a choice, rather
than no choice.
You should take into account the Direction Meta Program. It’s important to take
into account whether the person moves Toward or Away From in the design of
the strategy.
Installation: Finally, installation is a matter of rehearsal, swish patterns, and
chaining anchors installed to recall each step of the new strategy.

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NLP Strategy Elicitation

TEXT FOR FORMAL STRATEGY ELICITATION

Can you recall a time when you were totally X’d? Can you recall a specific time? As you go back to that time now … What was the very first thing that caused you to be totally X’d? ? Was it something you saw (or the way someone looked at you?), ? Was it something you heard (or someone’s tone of voice?), or ? Was it the touch of someone or something? ? What was the very first thing that caused you to be totally X’d? After you (saw, heard, felt) that, what was the very next thing that happened as you were totally X’d? ? Did you picture something in your mind? ? Say something to yourself, or ? Have a certain feeling or emotion? ? What was the next thing that happened as you were totally X’d After you (list previous), did you know that you totally X’d, or… (Continue until complete.)

TRANSCRIPT OF STRATEGY ELICITATION — MOTIVATION STRATEGY Let’s do that now. Bill, can we talk? How are you doing? “Great”. Can you recall a time when you were particularly motivated? “Yes”. Can you recall a time when you were totally motivated? Thinking … “Yes”. Can you recall a specific time? (He nods.) As you go back to that time now … What was the very first thing that happened that caused you to be totally motivated? (without pausing) Was it something you saw or the way someone looked at you? Was it something you heard or someone’s tone of voice? Or, was it the touch of someone or something? What was the very first thing that caused you to be totally motivated? “It was something I saw”. Good. After you saw what you saw, what was the very next thing that happened as you were totally motivated? Did you picture something in your mind? Did you say something to yourself, or have a certain feeling or emotion? What was the next thing that happened as you were totally motivated? “I made a picture in my mind”. Great. After you made a picture in your mind, did you know that you were totally motivated or did you say something to yourself, or have a certain feeling or emotion? “I said something to myself”. Good, after you made a picture in your mind, and said something to yourself, did you know that you were totally motivated or did you say something to yourself, or have a certain feeling or emotion? What was the next thing that happened as you were totally motivated? “Well, I was just motivated, that’s all.” Good, so you felt motivated? “Yes, that’s right.” Now, we know that Bill’s motivation strategy is: Now,

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Energising

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Powerful Questions

For powerful questions visit: CoachingToys.com
Michael Munoz headed this class and it was extremely educational.

We discussed questions and a student asked what one should do if they are constantly stressed out about asking the client the right questions? Michael Munoz adds:
“WHEN THE COACH ASKS THE CLIENT A QUESTION.. THE ANSWER THE CLIENT GIVES.. IS A SURPRISE!” –

  • MICHAEL SAYS: WHAT IF IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU ASKED A SPECIFIC QUESTION? WHAT IF THE CLIENT DIDN’T SHARE THE RIGHT / OR ENOUGH INFORMATION? MAYBE IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE? THE CLIENT WASN’T”MEANT” TO LEARN WHAT YOU MAY HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO TEACH HER/HIM AT THE TIME.

HE CONTINUES: THE QUESTIONS COME TO US WHEN THE CLIENT SHARES THE RIGHT INFORMATION!!! PERHAPS YOU HAVEN’T DUG DEEP ENOUGH YET BUT YOU WILL.

Michael doesn’t write down questions though his coach friend does.

How do we practice asking questions? Begin asking ourselves questions. This is how coaches practice asking questions.

  • We might consider, “darn it… now I thought of the perfect question for that client but they are gone. Whey didn’t the question come up in the first place, when I was with the client?
  • MICHAEL SAYS, “MAYBE YOU NEED TO ASK MORE INQUISITIVE QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF DEEP QUESTIONS. WE WANT THE CLIENT TO CREATE AN “ENVIRONMENT” FOR COACHING. THEREFORE, THERE IS NO “ONE PERFECT QUESTION”. iT IS A PROCESS.

EXAMPLE QUESTIONS:

  • WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY IF YOU WEREN’T WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF YOU?
  • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET GO?(bereaving client)
  • WHAT WOULD IT FEEL LIKE TO NOT BE IN CONTROL?
  • IF YOU WERE IN CONTROL HOW WOULD YOUR LIFE BE LIKE IN 5 YEARS?
  • WHAT IS THE WORST CASE SCENERIO IF ALL TURNS OUT THE WORST?
  • WHAT IS ARE GOD GIVEN POWERS? (awareness of what is there already… naturally)
  • MICHAEL SUGGESTS: TAKE THE CLIENT AWAY FROM THEIR ENVIRONMENT: “WHAT WOULD LIFE BE LIKE IF YOU WEREN’T IN THAT RELATIONSHIP?” “WHAT WOULD YOU LIFE BE LIKE IF YOU____ INSTEAD OF _____ ?”
  • REFLECT THE CLIENTS “SELF REFLECTION” – COMMUNICATE BACK TO THE CLIENT WHAT YOU HEARD THEM TO SAY, “WHAT I HEARD WAS: … IS THAT CORRECT?”
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Being A Coach

Here is the code of ethics, as per the Coaching Federation:
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